Diamonds, Engagements, Flowers, and Tumors

Hello Readers... who are most likely just my family members.

I have created this blog with my fiance' Kasia, to document our experiences from the latest events in our life so our family and friends may be able to follow and get some sort of happiness/closure during this long process. If anything else, we would hope that it would help someone or another couple that might ever go through a similar situation. We will be making posts together, separately and we will do our best to be as honest and forthcoming as possible. The following is my/our story:


In the year 2004 I was a starry-eyed freshman in college at Utah State University in my second semester. I was basically the man, according to me; I skied, I lived with one of my best friends from high school (Mr. Larson Welsh), I was playing hockey for Utah State, I wore aviator sunglasses, etc. Until I found out in March of that year that I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I dropped out of classes, and spent the following months in surgery and treatment until cancer decided it had had enough of me beating it up and I was cleared of that bitch... down a few lymph nodes and one testicle, but victorious.

Three to Four and a half years later I graduated from college, moved to Georgia for three weeks, drove back to Utah, became a ski-bum clipping tickets, ran out of money, almost moved back to Georgia, and finally landed a job: Accounts Receivable for Skullcandy, Inc. Skullcandy was a dream job; they demand you ski on powder days, hook you up with concert tickets, you can skate around the office, and they DEMAND you ski on powder days... which I did. At Skullcandy I met a number of radical people that continue to be some of my closest friends and professional confidants. Amongst those minions working at Skullcandy was a small, beautiful, petite, intelligent, Polish girl named Kasia Modelski. Her appearance is and was deceiving as she continually scares the shit out of everyone she works with, including VP's and Directors... but alas, I was enamored with her.

Before Kasia would admit that she was checking me out, I informed her via Skype conversation that she would, "make lots of money, eventually fall for me, marry me, and take care of me for the rest of my life," not necessarily in that order. After a few months of wooing her she demanded one Friday night that I plant one on her (a kiss), and after playing a little hardball I finally gave in and made out with her for three hours straight somewhere on or near Main Street in Park City. If a human, or other species with a limb like arm with a hand like appendage attached (I will NOT discriminate species) would have walked past they would have gotten a high-five and a thumbs up from yours truly, for I was stoked, as the kids would say. Fast forward two years later, Kasia is still putting up with my shenanigans and continually surprising me with her grace, love, compassion, and ability to put me in my place when needed.

I had at some point decided that I should probably lock this thing up before she realized what she was doing and bounced... besides, one of the Directors at Skullcandy once told me, "if you were to take a poll from every single person in the office asking, 'Is Kasia too good for Robert?' You would undoubtedly get 200 out of 200 yes's." *-Courtesy of Mark Kosiba.

In light of this scientifically proven finding about myself I bought a ring, hiked Kasia to the top of PC Mountain, got down on one knee, looked her straight in the eye and told her with shaking hands, "everyone thinks I am not good enough for you, please marry me"... and she said yes. I was beyond surprised on the answer and then there was champagne back at the office, drinks on Kosiba at the bar, called our ecstatic parents, had friends over that night for dinner/drinks, and we were on cloud nine by all accounts. Kasia had already started getting ideas for the wedding and thinking about the date we would get married by that following Sunday night.

On that Sunday night, two days after being engaged, I got into bed after playing my adult league hockey game (I scored a hat-trick and got the winning goal in the last 16 seconds but it is NBD, and beside the point) and felt a sharp pain on my last remaining testicle. The feeling was eerily similar to the bump I had found 7 years ago...

After being cleared of cancer in 2004, I was told for the next two years I would need to be checked up every other month, after that I would need to get a check up every 6 months, after 4 years I would need to get checked up once a year and there would be less than a 1% chance of getting cancer ever again. I was treated by the worlds most foremost doctor on testicular cancer, Dr. Foster from Indiana University, who also treated Lance Armstrong on his miraculous recovery. After doing a surgery that removed over a dozen of lymph-nodes from my abdomen I was told that I was now in remission and Dr. Foster sent me home with a letter to give my initial urologist that wrote the following, "...I have never had a patient be re-diagnosed with cancer after being cleared of Stage 1 and receiving a RPLND surgery, but at some point this will happen..." Well it happened, and it happened to me. On Tuesday afternoon I had given blood, an ultra sound, and a ct scan. On Wednesday morning I was informed that I do in fact have elevated tumor markings and a tumor on my testicle, the bitch was back and I was diagnosed with cancer... again.

According to my VERY extensive research, I am the first human to be diagnosed with testicular cancer in two separate testicles as well as the first to be treated by Dr. Foster or anyone else who has received that treatment.

Kasia and I were floored. My parents became beside themselves, not just because the news was tragic but because this time I was no longer near them. My mom could not physically hug me and tell me that we were going to beat it together, she couldn't cook my favorite meals,  she could not bare the option of her living on the other side of the country and that she cannot fix or take care of her youngest boy like she did the first time. Our friends and family have been nothing but surprised and more supportive then we could ever ask for, the people from Skullcandy have treated me like family as usual giving us all the time we need and offer endless support, and Kasia has been amazing. She is a seemingly seasoned veteran of dealing with a new fiance' with testicular cancer and I owe her more than she will ever know, or perhaps she does and is just waiting to demand payment. *Fingers crossed for sexual favors... (once we get married of course, if my or her parents/grandparents are reading this.)

I am not scared of cancer. I accept the challenge with open arms on beating the disease. I fondly look back at my first stint with cancer as the best thing that ever happened to me. I became a better person; I cared more about friends and family, I appreciated the little things more, became more honest, got tougher, and overall appreciated the experience and consider it the single most important and knowledgeable time of my life. I am excited to find out what kind of person I will become in the future because of my second stint with cancer... I mean, I am pretty awesome now, think of the future Robert. Woa.

Surgery is tomorrow. We will remove the tumor from my last testicle and after we will know more about the amount of treatment I will have to undergo following the dissection of the tumor. Kasia and I have labeled this blog Love Strong, Livestrong... which has become our battle cry of sorts the last few days for us as well as our family. If you don't understand the meaning, I don't know what to say to you, call someone and ask.